June 2009
2 posts
perpetual break up
Me: You suck. It's over.
Him: Good. You're a bitch.
Me: I don't want you to be happy that it's over.
Him: I'm not happy about it.
Me: Fine!
Me: I miss you.
Him: I miss you too. Are we still on for tomorrow?
It is not that i'm nuts... It is that I am a New...
I was recently (and oh so happily) laid off from my job as a corporate whore. Even though I miss handling things way over my head that I am not qaulified nor was paid enough to do and then also making coffee and pushing in conference room chairs that the fatass corporate mongers are too lazy to push back in, I have to say I am enjoying my time off. I have time to make some extra cash babysitting...
April 2009
1 post
March 2009
27 posts
Riding in the car with mom
Mom: I picked up a brochure at the doctor's office for you today.
Me: But mom, I use condoms...
Mom: It's about OCD... I picked it up for your boyfriend.
“He’s cool now, but he is right on the cusp of being a total douchebag”
– Michael Orell (via antikris)
ignobliss: hehe
“I love Julie Delphi- she makes me want to dump my boyfriend….”
– Watching 2 days in Paris
“We should should have have arts & crafts nights… Fuck- I just spilled...”
– Antikirs
Reply vs. Reply ALL
Today at work, A colleague of mine unneccesarily copied four people on an email to me- I was tempted to reply ALL: “I don’t like you”
However I didn’t so I’m writing it here…
I hate you, you clicky mean bitch who CCs everyone fucking irrevelant person in the world-
… Maybe it’s the my diet and wisky talking but I feel better.
“But I don’t wanna fuck him when I’m sober…”
– Antikris
A day of awkward
- I went to the neurologist today to figure some shit out and i don’t know if any of you have ever had a series of awkward silences with your Dr. but it was insane. He would ask me questions, he would stare and then i would retreat by looking away- This was repeated for about 30 minutes.
- I spoke with my former boss online who likes to talk shit about the people who fired her (who are now...
Weekend in review
antikris:
Let me preface this with FUCK YOU MONDAY. My phone, computer, and cable box all manage the time change for me without fail. I however am FAIL and forgot to change my alarm clock. I woke up this morning at what I thought was 635am thinking I was early when it actually was 735. It’s dark outside, raining, and annoying. My legs, neck, and back are all killing me from my...
Rob... We've hit a new low
Tanya: Rob, We've hit a new low.... It's called twitter
Rob: What's that?
Tanya: (artificially excited) "It's what happens between blogs & emails!
“A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.”
– Tanya at Tavern
Rob as a tampon
Rob: (to my sister) I feel so bad you sprained your ankle
Me: It's not your fault...You have guilt issues, Rob...
Rob: I'm like a tampon, I absorb everything.
Texting fail
Sister: I think I've sprained my ankle
Me: Were you running for something?
Sister: No...
Me: Are you wearing heels
Sister: I'm in flats
Me: How the hell did you sprain your ankle?
Sister: Blackberrys are dangerous
An early start...
It’s 12:20 am or so and the apartment already smells of a productive morning- (irish coffee and bacon perpetually lingers in the air from 10 hours ago)
loving it-
St Pat's in Hoboken
Him: Are you coming to Hobo for St. Pat's?
Me: No, but let's do something after.
Him: There's a post party after this.
Me: Will there be leprechauns?
While preparing for her date-
I should probably pluck my moustache - Antikris
She's screaming this from the shower
Antikris: Fuck- the face wash just squirted everywhere
Me: Try to suck it back in
Antikris: I can't... The hole is smaller than a two year old's vagina.
“My throat hurts… And I didn’t even do anything last night.”
“To Shave or not to shave, That is the question.”
“I don’t even know his name yet and I despise him”
